Thanksgiving Jokes

One of my favorite visual Thanksgiving jokes is this photo taken by a friend. He gave it the title: "What Do Turkeys Eat For Thanksgiving?"

A great Thanksgiving joke from Erma Bombeck:

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~Erma Bombeck, No One Diets on Thanksgiving

More Thanksgiving Jokes

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~Irv Kupcinet


May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs! ~Author Unknown


It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it. ~Alistair Cooke


On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime. ~Author Unknown


Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~Michael Dresser


Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving. ~Mike Connolly


The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~Ted Allen

The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~Author Unknown

Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary


Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~Johnny Carson


Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. ~P. J. O'Rourke


Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~Mark Twain


I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

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