Levels of Friendship

Specific Steps to Friendship
Lead to a New Level of Friendship

The first level of friendship is acquaintance. We meet someone that we feel we would like to know better. When we see this person at work or at a gathering, we smile, greet them, and engage in brief conversation. It is at this stage we decide if this is a realationship we want to pursue.

The second level of friendship is casual. Friendship is centered on common interests and activities. We ususally see the other person in a group setting. We may also decide to get together for coffee or a drink for some one-on-one "getting to know you" time. Casual friends begin to share their hopes and problems in a general way at a surface level. They have a general idea about each other’s strength and weaknesses. Some words of affirmation and encouragement are shared. Appreciation for the other person begins to grow.

The third level of friendship is close, or intimate, friendship. This friendship is based on a mutual attraction and desire to spend more time together. We share our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other. We discuss our plans, goals, and problems based on the trust that has be gained at earlier levels of friendship. We are willing to offer our strength where our friend is weak and vice versa. This is the "I'll always be there for you" level of friendship.

Once you have a growing friendship, take good care of it. A flower will not grow without water and sunshine. The same is true for friendship. If you don't know where to begin, here are some tips on friendships that will endure:

• Make your friend and friendship a priority: Make an effort to keep in touch. Call once in a while just to say hello. Email something that you know will interest your friend or make him laugh. Make frequent plans to spend time together doing something you both enjoy.



• Be open and transparent: It is easy to feel close to people who reveal themselves to us. That gives us permission to open ourselves to them too. When people take off their masks, others are drawn to them.



• Dare to express affection for your friend: Find opportunities to let your friend know what you like and admire about him. Tell him how his friendship has enhanced your life. Don't exaggerate; be sincere. We can determine through the actions of another if they return our affection but hearing the words that confirm it is a gift.



• Practice acts of friendship: Sharing a meal is a wonderful way to deepen friendship. The good food and meaningful conversation create a lasting bond. Make more memories by taking a trip together, doing a project together, attending a concert together---the possibilities are endless.

Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik

Attract And Maintain Fruitful Friendships That Will Last A Life-Time