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Leave A Legacy of Love
How Do You Want to Be Remembered?
Some of the saddest stories I know are about siblings who fight over possessions left behind after their parents have died. They may score the silver set or a prized ring yet lose forever their relationship with a sister or a brother. This distressing scenario plays out in families who have great wealth and in families who have few possessions.
This is not surprising in a culture where we often believe that "he who dies with the most toys wins."
I have never inherited much of anything from those who have gone before me.
Wait! Let me restate that. I have never inherited money or many possessions. When I was in my late 20's I woke from a dream that seemed very real. In the dream I heard a voice say "your grandma died and left you an inheritance." I had not been awake for more than a few minutes before the phone rang and I was told that my beloved grandmother had died in the night.
As I grieved my loss, I pondered the meaning of the dream. It did not take long for me to begin understand the inheritance that my grandmother had left to me. It was a legacy of love. I realized that so much of who I am has been influenced by her life:
- She modeled courage as a single, working, mother of three in years when divorce and women who worked were both rare.
- She always believed that, if someone else could do something, she could do it as well---or better,
- She accepted the life she had and never complained or envied others who had it easier.
- She took great joy in simple, and inexpensive, pleasures. She took us for walks in the park near her apartment. She took us to the library, to free museums, and downtown at Christmas time to see the wonderful displays in the Minneapolis department store windows.
My grandmother's gifts to me were of the best, and most valuable, kind. They were gifts of herself, her time, her wisdom, her outlook on life, her love.
The years have sped forward and I am now a grandma. And I know some of how to be a grandma because of the one who left me a legacy of love. My grandchildren know that I will not leave a legacy of money or "stuff."
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I do hope that, when I am gone, they will value the inheritance I am giving to them even while I live. That inheritance includes:
- Family gatherings and traditions. We celebrate holidays together of course. Summer picnics and winter gatherings in front of the fireplace happen as often as we can schedule them.
- We take vacations together at the lakes in Minnesota or in the mountains of Alaska (where some of my grandchildren live).
- We share. This may seem a simple phrase but, when one family is in a "tight spot" the others pitch in to help. This can be with care for a new baby, help with a move, some groceries to ease the budget for a bit, and so much more. I am proud of the love my grown children show to each other.
- We play together. This includes getting down on the floor to drive cars and trucks, dresssing Barbie dolls, putting together puzzles, soaking each other with water balloons and whatever else a granchild, or grandparent, can think of.
- We read. We buy books. We haunt the libraries and book stores. We tell our favorite stories to each other.
- We laugh---a lot. We laugh at cartoons and funny movies. We laugh the the antics of the little ones. We laugh at the funny stories that are part of our family history.
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