help

i am 21 years old with a 18 month old daughter. I live with my parents and the father of my baby used to live there. We have always argue but we loved each other and make up. But my parents hate him because he is not what they want especially my dad. He is a good guy but just like every human being we get upset. He used to be real jealous but he has changed for good. My dad hates him because his parents never help me, so he resents him for it. right now we broke up because i feel like i have to chose between them, i dont want my parents to be mad at me but i dont want to lose him either.

I dont know what to do? I want to live with my parents for now but i want my ex to live with me and my dad doesnt want him there no more. My dad has always kind of ignore him when my ex wants to start a conversation. I really stress out.





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Jun 21, 2011
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by: Mom

I?m so sorry to hear of the difficult time you, your boyfriend and your parents are experiencing. So often situations like this become difficult for a variety of reasons.

A primary reason can be responsibility. From your parent?s point of view, they raised you and now may feel they are responsible to help raise your child. One of the ways to help ease the situation is for both you and your boyfriend to do all you can to show them that you take responsibility for your daughter and also to show your gratitude to your parents for the ways they have helped you. This can be as simple as helping more with household chores. It can also mean not expecting your parents to do things for your daughter that you or your boyfriend can do.

Money is also frequently the cause of family friction. You say that your boyfriend?s parents don?t help you so it sounds like your parents are feeling stressed about finances in this situation. If your boyfriend has a job and helps with the expenses for you and your daughter, that is one way for him to make a good impression on your parents.

Communication is a key to getting all of you back into a relationship that will be healthy for you, your boyfriend, your daughter and your parents.

If your parents and boyfriend are willing, the very best thing you can do is sit down together and talk about the reasons for all of the hard feelings and what steps all of you need to take to have back the family relationship you want.

You have likely realized that the stress of this situation is more than you can handle alone.

Wherever you live there are people who will counsel with families who are in difficult situations. Look for family counseling in a phone book or online for your city. Ask if they have counselors who work on a ?sliding fee? scale which would mean they won?t charge more than you are able to pay.

My best wishes to for a better family relationship for all of you.

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